Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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