Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
