My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
How external is "for external use only"?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
