I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
