Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
splinters make it hard to masturbate
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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