I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
