My brain says no but my pants say off.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
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I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
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Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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