Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
