Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
