Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
