i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
