Heybabeimwearingurpanties
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
