bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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