The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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