'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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