GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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