Will you blow on my dice?
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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