I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
