Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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