i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
