last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize