The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
