OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
i think i just lost a toe
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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