my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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