the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
