summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
