So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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