Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
