Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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