She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
