He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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