i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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