We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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