it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
