I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Randomize
