..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
