Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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