I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
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my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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