what if every blade of grass was a penis?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Also, beer. Big fan.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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