I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
