she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
