Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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