Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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