Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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