sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i jhust puked up my retainher.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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