Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
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i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
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I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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