I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
