So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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