he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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