You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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