all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
