where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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