Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
