i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
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