so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Porn is love you can see.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
