We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
