You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize