Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
