I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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