Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
