so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
