I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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